Doctor, Doctor

I have an uncle who, whenever someone is unwrapping a gift from him, cautions the recipient not to "over-expect.” It’s good advice, both in present unwrapping and in life in general. It’s the reason I show up at my annual physical with a large bag of Cool Ranch Doritos and a 2-Liter of Mountain Dew in tow. Don’t over-expect, Doc.

In March of 2020, my doctor told me my cholesterol was too high and I needed to bring it down or start taking medication. I feigned surprise, pretending to choke on a Dorito. She scheduled me for lab work six months out. By way of (a) divine intervention or (b) laboratory error, my cholesterol had dropped a few points by September. Noting that it was “trending in the right direction,” my doctor held off on medication.

I returned yesterday (March 2, 2021) for my annual physical. I’d been eating well and exercising for about three months (and had dropped about 25 pounds), but I took the Doritos and Mountain Dew just in case. My cholesterol was way down. No need for medication. Turns out watching what you eat and exercising is good for your health. Who knew?